LADY GAGA MARRIED IN GREECE (TABLOID DECLARES)!

Hollywood famous celebrity Lady Gaga is married! She tied the knot in a secret beach wedding in Greece. True story, except for the part where Lady Gaga did not get married in any way.

Minor details. Why let that stop you if you're a tabloid?

Clever use of the realistic-looking pic, New Weekly, down to the white attire and Luc Carl (or Luc Carl stand-in). But rest assured, Lady Gaga is not Mrs. Carl. Yet.

In actual Gaga news, she put on some pounds lately, or at least it appears she did. We're not being critical, we think she looks a lot healthier than before.

LADY GAGA SPEAKS OUT AGAINST "DON'T ASK DON'T TELL"

Lady Gaga has some choice words for defenders of "Don't Ask Don't Tell," the policy that prevents gay men and women from serving openly in the military. The "Telephone" singer has released an 8-minute video urging the Senate to repeal the controversial policy. Wearing a black tie, white shirt, black coat, the 24 year-old pop starspeaks directly to a number of senators who have backed the law.

"I am here to be a voice for my generation. Not the generation of the senators who are voting, but for the youth of this country. The generation that is affected by this law, and whose children will be affected."

"We are not asking you to agree with or approve the moral implications of homosexuality," Gaga says in the video. "We are asking you to do your job — to protect the Constitution.